Ryan Anderson Confuses Fruit

Oh. My. Gosh. Look at the size of that owange. That is the biggest owange I have evow seen. I am going to eat that owange SO fast and it's going to be SO good. Wyan weally wikes owanges. Thank my wucky staws foah this enoahmous owange.
Oh, owange. I am so happy to eat you. You will be sweet and dewicious in Wyan's bewwy. If I didn't eat you, owange, I would want to mawwy you and maybe go see the new Hawwy Pottah movie togevah. You make me so happy, owange. I am sowwy to eat you, but you awa a big yummy owange so I must.

GWOSS! GWAPEFWUIT! YOU AWEN'T AN OWANGE AT ALL! HOWA DAWA YOU! You awa too souwa! I fought we wewe fwiends! You twicked me, gwapefwuit. I will NEVEWA eat a gwapefwuit again because you awa SO mean. You taste wike souwa poops. Gwoss. You awa the wowst fwuit evewah.

Luke Ridnour Misses the Point

Mo Williams: This new commercial is going to be insane.

Rashard Lewis: For real, we look tight.

Kevin Durant: Yeah.

Rashard Lewis: Who else they got comin'?

Mo Williams: I don't know. You know, Kev?

Kevin Durant: No.

Rashard Lewis: I think Iggy coming. And I heard Luke Ridnour was coming, but that can't be true.

Mo Williams: Who is Luke Ridnour?

Rashard Lewis: He play for the Sonics.

Kevin Durant: No.

Rashard Lewis: Oh, right. He play for the Thunder.

Kevin Durant: No.

(door opens)

Mo Williams: Iggy! What up?!

Andre Iguodala: (grimaces)

Rashard Lewis: You bring anybody with you?

Andre Iguodala: (grimaces)

(door opens, knocks over Connect Four game)

Luke Ridnour: Hey, guys. Did I do that?

Mo Williams: Who dat?

Kevin Durant: Ridnour.

Williams/Lewis: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Luke Ridnour: Awwww, not again. They said "dress like the early 90s." They specifically said EARLY 90s. Why does this always happen to me?

Williams/Lewis: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Andre Iguodala: (grimaces)

Oil Prospecting with Joakim Noah

At Joakim Noah's house...

Trez Kerbz: I have boredom, Joakim Noah. There is boredom in me.

Joakim Noah: For real, son. Let's do something then.

Trez Kerbz: Like what?

Joakim Noah: Let's get some oil, son.

Trez Kerbz: a) Why would we get oil? And b) How are we going to get oil?

Joakim Noah: You kidding? Oil is like gold, but, like a liquid.

Trez Kerbz: Liquid gold.

Joakim Noah: Word, son. We need to get that oil, son.

Trez Kerbz: Sure. How?

Joakim Noah: Yo, throw that ice pick in the ground.

Trez Kerbz: Why do you have an ice pick?

Joakim Noah: Why do only certain birds eat certain bird seed? Why did old-time sailors think manatees were mermaids? Why we hangin' out? You ask too many questions, man.

Trez Kerbz: Whatever. So, you think I just throw this ice pick in the ground and we'll get some oil?

Joakim Noah: Word. Get a bag though.

Trez Kerbz: Why?

Joakim Noah: For the oil, son.

Trez Kerbz: Right. (throws ice pick, oil starts spurting)

Joakim Noah: YEAH, SON!

Trez Kerbz: I cannot believe that worked. (copious amounts of oil continue to spurt)

Joakim Noah: GET THAT OIL, SON! GET OIL!

Tyson Chandler NBA Player Pictures

Performance Enhancers for the Portland Trailblazers

One of the things that I'm always telling Matt Moore is how I want every NBA player to completely maximize their potential. Clearly, this will never happen. However, thanks to certain shadowy connections I have made, I have procured the following items for the Portland Trailblazers basketball team. They have the pieces to challenge the Lakers and Spurs in the West, so I thought that giving them a little extra help would raise the level of the league just a touch. Here is what I acquired:

Robot Legs

For: Greg Oden

Advantages: Supports brittle bones that have been ravaged by osteoporosis. Improves lateral quickness. Improves jumping quickness. Looks awesome.

Disadvantages: The only thing heavier than his actual legs.

Hook for a Hand

For: Lamarcus Aldridge

Advantages: Aids in grabbing tough rebounds. Frightens opposing players. Looks awesome.

Disadvantages: Occasionally falls off of arm stump. Turns player in to a monster.

Shoe Lifts

For: Jerryd Bayless

Advantages: Makes player appear taller, therefore allowing him to play shooting guard.

Disadvantages: Kind of sissy.

Nunchucks

For: Brandon Roy

Advantages: Just seems like he'd like nunchucks.

Disadvantages: None.

Muscle Milk

For: Nicolas Batum

Advantages: Adds muscle. Tastes like milk.

Disadvantages: For bros.

Espanha Sub18 Femininos

França Sub 20 Femininos

Les Braqueuses à l'Euro 2009
by basketfrance

Como não encontro filmes das Sub 20 junto um das Seniores que também ganharam. Dá para ter um ideia do basket actual em França.

Grécia (Sub 20 Masculinos)

Santos da casa não fazem milagres...

Ao viajar na internet encontrei um artigo meu publicado no site
http://basketballcoachingnotes.blogspot.com/
A companhia é boa : John Calipari, Tom Izzo, Wance Valberge, Pat Summit, Rick Pitino entre muitos outros.

The Most Boring Player in the NBA

Facts about Andre Miller:

• Every day for lunch eats white bread, hard-boiled eggs, and American cheese.
• Favorite television program: Antique Roadshow
• Favorite actor: Ben Kingsley
• Favorite actress: Angela Landsbury
• Takes lukewarm baths; refuses to use shower.
• Drives a silver1996 Chevrolet Lumina.
• Owns 16 pairs of Champion cotton shorts with pockets (aka "Dad shorts") in various shades of grey, black, and blue.
• Has two dogs, a yellow lab named "Rick" and a beagle named "Tom."
• Favorite color: grey-ish
• Favorite musician: Seals and Croft
• Favorite movie: The Good Shepherd
• Weekends are generally spent doing yardwork, reading the newspaper, and doing yardwork.
• Once took a roadtrip by car to Yellowstone National Park to "see what all the fuss is about." Upon return, declared the park "too sprawly."
• Favorite food: porridge
• Favorite store: Kohl's
• After a night out on the town his rookie year, remarked that clubs are "too loud" and has yet to return.
• Next movie on NetFlix queue: Grey Gardens
• As a child, met Magic Johnson and told his parents he wasn't impressed because he was "too smiley."

Weight Loss Solutions for Eddy Curry

Word on the street is that Eddy Curry is trying to get his groove back. Ostensibly, he wants to "be ready" and "resemble a basketball player" and "attract women." But I'm willing to bet he logged on to the information super highway, went to Google, started Googling "eddy curry is awesome" and saw this:
Then he had the sadness and decided, "I should probably stop being as fat as I am. This will cure the sadness." Because I'm trying to diversify Blowtorch Consulting, I'm willing to offer my help in getting Eddy Curry back in shape. Here are some suggestions.

DIET AND EXERCISE
This would probably be my first suggestion. But since it involves eating less and working out more, let's move on.

HAVE A BABY
Just giving birth is an easy way to drop 7-9 pounds, plus Eddy would continue to lose weight while he nursed the baby. Not to mention, he'd also have a new baby that he can enter in to various pageants, even after only two weeks after birth. I assume he would teach his child how to do a backflip, which would be pretty big points in the talent portion.

STAR IN A CHRISTIAN BALE MOVIE
In The Machinist, Christian Bale played a man who is very skinny and also chops another man's arm off in a factory accident. It is legendary how much weight Christian Bale lost for this role (most estimate the amount at a lot), then he put on a bunch of muscles and a very growly voice to be Batman. I would probably tell Eddy to not go "full Bale," or else he'll lose his ability to back flips and/or walk.

CLICK ON INTERNET ADS
In just 2 weeks, Eddy Curry could change from a very fat black man to a slightly smaller white man. In most circles, this is called "the Eddie Murphy diet" after his preference for playing every character in more and more depressing movies. However, once again I'd worry that he'd stop being able to do backflips.

I'm not saying that these are the only ways to lose weight (also: methamphetamines, illness, surgery), but they are probably the best. In fact, if Eddy were to incorporate the last three in to his current diet (fats) and exercise (none) routine, he'd probably be able to drop at least 15 pounds before the season started. Good luck, Eddy!

Art Review: Being a Kobe Fan

Summary: A Kobe Bryant fan is surrounded by various tormented characters. Also, there is a red string.

Insight: To truly understand this masterpiece, each image must be considered by itself, but the entire picture must be assessed as a whole.

Beginning with the maniacally smiling fellow on the left of the picture, we see the immense joy that Kobe winning a title "by himself" brought to fans. Continuing counterclockwise we encounter a bearded, balding man. It can easily be assumed that this man is European, since he looks like a stereotypical cab driver seen in 1980s movies. This is likely an allusion to Pau Gasol, and a statement that says Kobe didn't necessarily win by himself.

The child to the right of the European is clearly pained. We must assume that this character represents the brattiness that Kobe showed as a youngster in the NBA. Since the Kobe character has his back turned to the child, we can infer that he has turned his back on these childish ways. The guy with the scarf/neck brace is the definition of Los Angeles superficiality. He is turned away from Kobe and seems nonplussed. This shows that even though Kobe is a huge sports star, not all of Los Angeles is impressed with him.

The last two notable images are the dual images which represent Phil Jackson. At the top, we see controlling hands, and in the bottom right, a man with an eyepatch. The displaced hands, clearly, are a reference to Jackson's hands-off coaching philosophy. And the way that the eyepatched man and Kobe are sharing a glance confers that they know something no one else does. It is likely the eyepatch represents Jackson's leaving the Lakers for a short period before returning.

Lastly, the red string which ties everyone together is obviously a call-out to Kobe's Michael Jordan obsession, a driving force throughout his career. I think we all know what the blonde woman represents.

Estimated price at auction: $5-10 (this looks like a high school art project)

The Video: LeBron James Dunked On

LeBron James dunked on by Xavier's Jordan Crawford video tape has been released today. After seeing it, I really wonder why King James and Nike official have to confiscate the video tape. Surely, it's not a big deal! It's just that LeBron James rotating a little slow on defense and getting caught at the rim by a college boy.

Watch LeBron James dunked on video from two different angles here.

Comentar basquetebol na RTP

Mais uma vez tive oportunidade de comentar jogos de basquetebol na RTP, desta vez no Torneio da Lusofonia . Tentei ,como é meu hábito , explicar o jogo para quem o não conhece bem. Os "feedbacks" variam , como habitualmente nos limites entre os meus amigos e familiares que acham que tudo correu bem e um ou dois idiotas dos "Nicknames" que pensam o oposto... A maioria contudo vai dizendo que gostou o que é gratificante. Mas o mais importante é o regresso da modalidade ao canal aberto. A final entre Angola e Cabo Verde foi um espectáculo como nunca tinha sido visto em Portugal e deveria ser motivo para reflexão.

What is Toni Kukoc Doing RIGHT NOW?

Modelling

25-1
Hiding
8-1

Going to the Phish Reunion Tour

12-1

Boring radio show hosts with Ottoman Wars discussions

5-1

Working on his Samuel L. Jackson impersonation

10-1

Outreach with Dr. James Naismith and his original basketball
30-1

Auditioning for Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians

2-1

Aging gracefully

500-1

Quem te avisa teu amigo é....

No site do Planeta basket encontrei a seguinte noticía que vai de encontro do que venho avisando:
Rafael Wildner “hablas espanhol”?
O internacional sub-18 Rafael Wildner é mais um dos jovens portugueses que opta por continuar o seu projecto desportivo em Espanha, mais concretamente na Fundacion Breogan. Como diz o prof. Mário Silva no seu blog: "Os espanhóis não estão a dormir" e procuram talentos de todo o mundo. No ano passado foi Jonah Callenbach que aos 15 anos, rumou ao Fuenlabrada, equipa que terminou a prova nacional 2008/09 em quarto lugar, logo atrás de potências como o Barcelona.
O Rafael, que neste momento se encontra em Sarajevo (Bósnia), com a selecção de Sub18, vai-se juntar a outros portugueses que já defendem as cores do Fundacion Breogan - Betinho Gomes, Arnette Hallman e Gustavo Lima. O contrato do atleta que fez a sua formação em clubes como o Farense, Benfica e Portimonense, e que mais recentemente, evoluiu nos CNT Paredes e CAR Jamor, é de dois anos.
Em Espanha, o jovem Rafael deverá integrar as equipas que vão competir no escalão de Juniores B e na EBA.

Acabou a época na A.B.Lisboa

A época 2008/09 chegou ao fim. Estou completamente estoirado mas valeu a pena.
Como tinhamos prometido trabalhámos muito e conseguimos alterar muitos dos hábitos anteriores em Lisboa.
Os Torneios de Sub 12-10 e 8, Circuito Sub 13, Selecções Distritais , 3x3, Clinic e o Campo Aperfeiçoamento movimentaram muitos jovens. Prometemos fazer mais e melhor no próximo ano.

Kobe Bryant: Too Concerned with Peace?

Guys, I'm kind of worried. I've been doing some investigation lately, on the information superhighway. I'm pretty well-trained on most detective techniques, including but not limited to:

• smoking out perps
• stakeouts
• disguise
• fake names
• mirrored aviators

Needless to say, I know what I'm doing. And I think I'm on to something big. Check out these latest photos of "Kobe Bryant," if that's even his real name. They're from his "Asia Tour."

Did you notice it? Probably not, because you haven't taken several correspondence courses on espionage like I have. To your untrained eye, you just see "Kobe Bryant," if that's even his real name. But to my more discouraging eye, I noticed that in EVERY SINGLE PICTURE he is giving a peace sign. Seems fishy.

And check out this one:

By now you know how to look for clues like the peace sign, but did you recognize that there are now TWO peace signs? Don't worry if you didn't, this is advanced sleuthing. Now if those original pictures seemed fishy, then this one seems TWICE as fishy, because there are two peace signs.

Now most amateur detectives, like The Big Lead, would halt their investigation here and libel the suspected parties. But not me. I went deeper. Check this out:

Can you see it? No, not the peace sign. Not the Bro either. The shirt "Kobe," if that's even his real name, is wearing. It's from this year's All Star Game, which was five months ago. So we know that this has been going on a long time.

What's the angle here?

What is "Kobe Bryant's," if that's even his real name, plan?

Is he trying to throw people off his scent by constantly preaching peace?

Might he be attempting to overthrow V.A.S.T. through his own shadow company?

Is this "peace sign" really some sort of trigger for his operatives?

I don't know yet. I have to keep digging...without a shovel.

E a BRISA não paga nada...

Vinha eu tranquilamente a caminho de casa, na A1 ,quando vejo pelo ar um objecto, posteriormente identificado, que por pouco não me matava.
Chamada a GNR e a Brisa , foi tempo fazermos relatórios. Quinze dias depois , para minha surpresa , recebo em casa uma carta onde a BRISA diz " a responsabilidade não é nossa mas sim do condutor do veiculo que deixou cair o objecto ". De referir que o dito objecto era parte de um amortecdor de um camião sobre o qual um carro passou por cima e o fez voar até mim. Moral da história vou ter de pagar e calar... a única coisa boa no meio de tudo isto é que estou vivo.